F.A.P

Written by Mercedes Lackey and Leslie Fish

Vocals and 12 String Guitar by Leslie Fish
Arrangement, Clarinet, Drum and Piano by Ernie Mansfield
Midi Drum and Bass by Teri Lee

F.A.P. stands for Feline American Princess.  At the time written Misty had 8 cats. 

Aren't I kind to allow you to live in my house
Aren't I gracious to grant you the use of my chair
Aren't I wonderful when I give you a dead mouse
Aren't I utterly, totally beyond compare
And don't you admire the virtues you see
In marvelous, lovely, magnificent me-ow, meow, meow, meow

I will carefully shed just selected dark hair
When I'm lying on all the white laundry you did
And the white hairs will go when I bother to lair
On black velvet where they can't be brushed off or hid
They look so much better that way you'll agree
They'll remind you of lovely, magnificent me-ow, meow, meow, meow

If you try to insist that I live on dry food
I will either look thin and pathetic and sad
Or I just might do something disgusting and rude
Such as eat it, then throw up all over your pad
Only chicken and liver and fish naturally
Are fit for the palette of marvelous me-ow, meow, meow, meow

I really don't understand why you should look
At anything else or have things in your hands
So I'll patiently lie on your papers or book
To suggest that you treat me as my rank demands
You really should pet me when your hands are free
It's a privilege to fondle magnificent me-ow, meow, meow, meow

[Musical interlude]

For just when you're maddest at something I've done
I'll go do something else that's so touching or sweet
So charming, adorable silly or fun
It'll just knock the stocking clean off of your feet
Now you know you can't win so why fight it you see
I know you're a sucker for marvelous me-ow, meow, meow, meow
I know you're a sucker for marvelous me